How do you handle someone doing something wrong? Do you punish them? Do you call them out? Do you treat them differently?
This morning, I read the following and was interested in your thoughts:
In this African tribe, when someone does something harmful, they take the person to the center of the village where the whole tribe comes and surrounds them.
At this point in the story, I fully expected the tribe to be like the Pharisees who brought the adulterous woman before Jesus ready to stone her to death [John 8:2-11]. What I discovered was completely different.
For two days they will say to the man all the good things he has done. The tribe believes that each human being comes into the world as good. Each one of us only desiring safety, love, peace and happiness. But sometimes, in the pursuit of these things, people make mistakes. The community sees those mistakes as a cry for help.
They unite then to lift him, to reconnect him with his true nature, to remind him who he really is, until he fully remembers the truth of which he has been temporarily disconnected: ‘I am good.’
SHIKOBA NABAJYOTISAIKIA is a compliment used in South Africa and means: ‘I respect you, I cherish you. You matter to me.’ In response, people say SHIKOA, which is, ‘So, I exist for you.'”
You can read about this practice here. It is a very compelling story.
When I encounter a survivor of sex trafficking for the first time, she isn’t always kind. In fact, in many cases, she’s rude and chooses to turn her back on me and ignore me. She’s in survival mode and sees me as someone who is judgmental, condescending, or part of her problem… and that’s before I even open my mouth.
She is looking through a set of lenses that skews how she sees herself and others. By loving her, even when she is unlovable, her lenses can change [Matthew 7:12, Luke 6:35, and 1 Peter 4:8]. She can begin to see herself as Christ sees her, trading the lies Satan has told her for so long with God’s truth about who she was created to be [Genesis 1:26]. But it all begins with loving her, even when she’s unlovable.
How do you handle people in your life who do wrong? How would it look if you implemented this tribal practice on some level? Could you dig deep enough inside yourself to offer that kind of forgiveness to another? Can I?
Colossians 3:13 says,
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
The Lord forgives us even before we commit a sin [Luke 22:32]. Will we do the same with one another?
It’s time to help others find the correct lenses to wear. How are your lenses?
This story is not true. Shikoba means “feather” and the other word is im pretty sure the other word is made up or someones name. This story is also not biblical and not a good system of working. Jesus didnt the condemn the woman but he also didnt dismiss her sin a as a mistake he told her not to do it any more. The people in this fictional tribe arent forgiving one another they encouraging mass denial by ignoring the sin as a “mistake”. Trully forgiving means fully acknowledging the horror of the wrongdoing but accepting them and loving them anyway without seeking revenge. Use discernment as this appears lovely but it is actually the opposite…
Imagine if people had done this with hitler?….oh wait a moment they did! Only it wasnt a tribe it was hundreds of thousands of people all ignoring his horrible acts for years and oraising him!
Repentance and tuening away from sin is needed. Empty ego flattering praise with no justice, rebuke or conviction is not only not a good system, it is evil